


I Could Hold You (Endlessly)

by Piratetiltheend



Category: BTOB
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mild Smut, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-12-17 16:24:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piratetiltheend/pseuds/Piratetiltheend
Summary: A collection of moments in Minhyuk and Eunkwang's lives.Some are happy and some are sad but what matters is that they've got each other.





	1. Home (Is Whenever I Am With You)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This will be a collection of one-shots i've written about our lovely smol dads! These works are transferred from my asianfanfics account :') I hope you enjoy them.

They have been dating for a month now. More often than not, Minhyuk tends to do something that Eunkwang started to notice.

The first few times it happened, the vocalist thought nothing of it; he had only noticed when it started happening more regularly and only when Eunkwang was really paying attention to his lover’s actions.

Eunkwang tried to figure out why Minhyuk always does this but alas, the journey to realization failed multiple times. He just could not figure this riddle out. The question of why his Minhyukie likes to be on top of him. Yah! Not in that sense!

The first time this had happened, the two lovers were cuddling and making out on their couch when all of a sudden, Minhyuk was on top of him. And ever since the day he noticed, the vocalist started to pay attention to Minhyuk’s actions more. He noticed that every time they were cuddling or making out, within minutes, Minhyuk would be on his lap. Not that he minded at all.

Soon, Eunkwang realized that this wasn’t limit to the couch. Minhyuk would practically be on his lap all the time. In the waiting room while waiting for their concert, in the dorm’s floor when they were watching a movie or in the practise room when Eunkwang would be trying to practice his piano playing - Minhyuk would be in his lap, occasionally dozing off and Eunkwang being the tender and loving boyfriend would wake Minhyuk up with the softest kisses.

Eunkwang was curious about this habit of Minhyuk’s but never asked him the reason why. He was just happy to have his adorable squirrel-like boyfriend to be in his lap. The rapper always seemed so relaxed and happy when he was curled up in Eunkwang’s lap, his eyes would be shining and his lips would curl into the sweetest and most beautiful smile Eunkwang has ever seen in his life. Minhyuk was his Moon and Stars and he just felt too lucky to have him.

“Is my lap really that comfortable?”, Eunkwang asked softly, kissing Minhyuk’s neck. “Not that I mind of course. I love it, honestly” He still pointed it out in the end, casually when Minhyuk ended up on his lap again during an impromptu make-out session.

“Ah...Yeah.” Minhyuk said, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “You’re soft and you smell good… And, this sounds stupid, but... ! You’re just going to laugh at me! Forget I said anything…”

“But? C’mon tell me. I won’t laugh I promise!” Eunkwang said, hands snaking around Minhyuk’s waist. The rapper hid his face in Eunkwang’s neck, obviously embarrassed.

“It makes me feel safe”, Minhyuk confessed. “You make me feel safe. Being in your arms...it feels like home.”

“Aw, my Minnie is so cute!”, Eunkwang squealed and immediately attacked his boyfriend with a rain of kisses. Minhyuk giggled and tried to push him away ‘Y-Yah! T-That tickles!” Eunkwang finally stopped when Minhyuk pulled him in for a tender kiss, the vocalist kissing him back with enthusiasm, bringing him closer in his lap. He thought to himself that he would be more than happy to go through hours of numbness and pain in his legs if it made Minhyuk feel this way.


	2. This Love (Will Be Your Downfall)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back with another chapter! Slightly angsty but fluffy nonetheless! Hope ya'll enjoy this one and remember to leave me some kudos or comments if you want. Thanks for reading!

Their relationship would have never worked out. The odds would never have been in their favour. Eunkwang told himself this as he watched Minhyuk’s solo on stage, in awe of how ethereal he looked. He was just too beautiful.

Eunkwang told himself that their relationship would be a dead end whenever the urge to feel Minhyuk’s hands on his skin would be too strong to overcome; it was wrong, he told himself, Minhyuk was just his best friend. Nothing else.

Minhyuk, however didn’t seem to be aware about this, or even care about it, since Minhyuk liked to teasingly flirt with him, he was most fond of watching the leader blush and stutter every time Minhyuk brushed his hand across Eunkwang’s hands or a brief touch on his back when he walked past him.

Each time Minhyuk touched him like this, he thought to himself that he now knew what it feels like to be electrocuted, or to have swallowed butterflies, electricity running through his body, stomach flopping and making his heart beat faster than ever before.

He knew that he should ask Minhyuk to stop flirting with him, that it would be crazy to even think about their relationship being anything else besides being friends - Deep down, he knew since he was a child that he liked boys, but he had repressed and ignored that feeling for years, and as if that wasn’t enough, they were co-workers too, Eunkwang told himself, being in any sort of relationship would only make that more complicated, and what if things went bad between them?

That was how Eunkwang reasoned as he laid in his bed at night, plagued by thoughts in his mind, the gears in his brain running a mile a minute. Most of the thoughts were about his crush on Minhyuk.  If only emotions could be easily switched off, he thought to himself as he groaned, tossing and turning in his bed until he finally drifted off into sleep. His dreams, however, were filled with Minhyuk’s smiles, his soft and tender hands on his body, and when Peniel’s alarm tore him out of his sleep the next morning, he felt like he barely slept a wink.

This resulted in a grumpy Leader Seo the next morning as he made his way to vocal lessons, the combination of restless sleep and the dreams that left him frustrated and exhausted; he stopped by the cafe to get coffee and finish a cup in a few gulps before arriving at the practice room.

It didn’t help his mood at all that when Minhyuk was the first one to arrive at their practice room besides Eunkwang and greeted him with a teasing “Good Morning, Honey!” and patted Eunkwang on the bum as he walked past him. The words spilled from Eunkwang’s lips before he could stop himself.

“Please! Can you stop that?’, Eunkwang blurted out, which made Minhyuk freeze, looking quite shocked at Eunkwang’s sudden outburst before a brief look of hurt flashed across his features and Eunkwang immediately felt guilty. After all, Minhyuk was just being his usual cheeky self, a bit flirty, but that’s just how he is and here he was, snapping at his friend first thing in the morning.

“O-Oh. I’m sorry.”, Minhyuk mumbled, his gaze dropping to the floor, hand scratching the back of his head nervously. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ll cut it out. I’m sorry… um. I’ll go now.”

‘Wait! Minhyuk. It’s not that.”, Eunkwang hurried to reassure him, feeling even worse at Minhyuk’s reaction, and grabbing Minhyuk’s wrists to keep him from walking away. “You’re not making me uncomfortable, I’m sorry for getting angry at you. You didn’t deserved that. It’s just…”

He stuttered and thought hard of how to even continue. Not sure how to tell his best friend that it would be crazy to start anything with their line of work and the risk of falling apart or the rumors that would ruin their group. Minhyuk was looking at him curiously, and he fought the urge to nervously run both hands through his hair as he continued.

“It’s just”, He started, trying to win a few more seconds to gain composure, “You make me feel… the exact opposite of uncomfortable. And that’s terrible because...we’re idols and we can’t do this. It would be insane to be anything more than friends, and-”

Minhyuk then did something unexpected, strong hands pulled Eunkwang to him. Chest to chest. Lips so close he could feel Eunkwang’s breath ghosting over his lips and cut his awkward stuttering off by pressing his lips to the shocked leader. Even though Eunkwang just told him that they couldn’t do this, Eunkwang kissed him back at once, wrapping both arms around him, a muffled happy sigh slipping between his lips when their kiss deepened.

Perhaps, Eunkwang thought to himself as he melted against Minhyuk, all the need and desire he had been repressing ever since he had met Minhyuk for the first time was finally breaking through to the surface, breaking down his walls he tried so hard to keep guarded, turning the kiss into something almost rough, his need to feel Minhyuk closer, atom to atom. The need for Minhyuk was too obvious to ignore. This was truly a insane thing to do...but he had never felt more grounded and his mind ran with more clarity than it did in this very moment, and so, Eunkwang figured, this has to be a good thing after all as everything made sense now.

Minhyuk was worth it.

_Their love was worth it._


	3. Enough

_"A leader is someone who is popular in the group or a person like that, but this friend doesn't have much."_

 

 

 

 _"_ Hyung where are you going ?"

A pause. A smile that doesn't reach his eyes. A nervous chuckle.

"I just need some fresh air"

The door slams.

He's running.

Faces pass. Tears blur his vision.

Inhale. Exhale.

He ends up at a park. The cold air stings his skin. He should've worn a thicker coat. 

 _Pathetic. Worthless. An embarrassment_. 

Footsteps approach him and a familiar voice startles him.

"Eunkwang! What do you think you're doing here out in the cold without a jacket on?"

Ah. It was Minhyuk. 

Eunkwang turns and faces him. 

Eyes red rimmed, tears streaming down his face. He tried to answer him but all that came out was a choked sob. 

Warm hands tenderly takes ahold of his numbingly cold ones. 

Said hands pull him close. Minhyuk's body envelopes him.

No words were spoken by Eunkwang but when he looked into Minhyuk's eyes he knew Minhyuk understood.

A shaky exhale.

A muffled whisper from Minhyuk as his grip tightens.

_"You're enough"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry for the slow updates and this short chapter but i've been super busy with work so I hope ya'll understand!
> 
> Anyway, the quote at the beginning of the chapter was from Kim Gu Ra who was talking about Eunkwang's competancy to be a leader. It made me kinda pissed so this came out of my angered mind. HAHA. It's old news but I finally got around to writing this. 
> 
> Till next time! See ya!


	4. I Found Love

_ ‘All my life i’ve been so cold, till you.’ _

 

 

* * *

Minhyuk loved mornings, especially when they’re like this. They have been dating for 2 years now and moving in together was inevitable. Ever since they stayed together, Minhyuk got to indulge in rare moments where he had woken up before Eunkwang. Their leader was set like a swiss watch. Usually waking an hour before the sun rose, a result of their hectic lifestyle, body programmed to wake up at the same time every day. By comparison, Lee Minhyuk wasn’t ruled by time. Time moved around him. 

Minhyuk stretches under his blanket, cold sheets brushing against even colder legs as he yawns loudly. There was something satisfying about dipping his feet beyond the pool of body warmed covers only to pull them back again, snuggling against the soft pillows, making sure not to wake the sleeping form beside him. Eunkwang had collapsed into their bed only a couple of hours ago. The lyrics and melody would not leave him in peace until he had composed the song, he had said, mumbling the words before sleep claimed him

Minhyuk turned towards Eunkwang, head resting on his folded arms. He could stare at his lover for hours, mapping every curve, freckle and dip of Eunkwang’s face. The angle of his cheek-bones. The arch of his eyebrows. The feather-like dusting of his eyelashes. The subtle pink on his cheeks. The delicate pout on his lips. Minhyuk commits it all to memory.

Cradled in the silence, Minhyuk’s nimble fingers tuck a strand of Eunkwang’s freshly dyed raven hair behind his ear, enjoying the brush of his calloused fingers against Eunkwang’s warm and soft skin—and he finds his heart arrested. These were precious moments where the sun that had filtered through the window shone just right, glancing off Eunkwang’s sleeping form in just the right way. Minhyuk felt his heart clench. There are many eloquent speakers in the world. Plenty of people who were well versed in the art of prose that had already captured this moment in a complicated language of love. Lee Minhyuk, was no poet but sometimes, he got the word right.

_ Eunkwang was radiant. In all senses of the word. _

The leader would vehemently disagree, though. He would push Minhyuk away with a snort. Telling him to save such flattery for someone more deserving. Eunkwang was not perfect. Minhyuk was not perfect. Eunkwang may not think that he is beautiful but Minhyuk does and he would gladly fight the battle each and every day if it made Eunkwang see that broken though he may feel, beaten by existing anxiety, tied down by his burdens as a leader, choked by the ever-present stress of supporting his group, his natural light shone stubbornly though his cracks, illuminating the jagged lines of his imperfections. He, like Minhyuk, was beautiful in their brokenness

And even in the darker days, when Eunkwang’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, that same light shone in the depth of his chocolate brown eyes. In the pale and soft skin that was sprinkled with faint freckles like rare constellations. In the shake of his reluctant laugh. In the glint of his smile. Even during his gray days, Eunkwang was a light. Minhyuk never knew a human being could house so many shades of light and he found comfort in the warmth it provided. 

Minhyuk never realize his colourblindness until Eunkwang came along and showed him the radiance of true colour. More than he would like to admit, his life brought him upon journeys where it wasn’t all sunny pastures. Minhyuk has seen what lays in the darkness and bore scars from stumbling through shadows. Sometimes, Minhyuk struggled alone. Sometimes, a light would be there to guide his path. And that light was Eunkwang, and for the first time, the earth stood still, the sun never set, the stars always shone bright and Minhyuk felt a lasting warmth in his heart. He knew, without a doubt that he was home.

“A picture lasts longer, you know?”

The breath that escaped Eunkwang’s parted lips broke the fragile silence. Minhyuk jumped, being the startled party for once, but his shock eased into his usual grin when Eunkwang’s bright eyes looked into Minhyuk’s own. 

“Pictures aren’t scratch and sniff.”

And with that, the younger man rolls into his lover, burying his face into the crook of Eunkwang’s neck. The leader’s smell and the warmth of his bed-warmed skin envelopes him. A moan rises into Eunkwang’s throat when Minhyuk begins lightly suckling at the juncture between his partner’s neck and shoulders. EUnkwang’s muscles tremble under Minhyuk’s wandering touch. His fingers tangle in Minhyuk’s hair, his breathy exhales sending shivers down the younger man’s body.

Their lovemaking mirrors the morning; slow and warm. By its end, they settle back the way they started, cuddled in each other’s arms. Savouring the afterglow.

“Have I ever told you I love you?” Eunkwang murmurs, the first once to break the silence.

Minhyuk smiles against the top of Eunkwang’s head before dropping a soft kiss on Eunkwang’s forehead. “Why, I am absolutely honored, Leader-Nim! I shall alert the media immediately that you would love a mere commoner like me!”

The leader yelps when Minhyuk suddenly grabs the inside of his thigh just above his knee, the place where Eunkwang was most ticklish.

“I take it back,” He feigns a pout. “Why do I love you again?”

“I mean, I could make a list, but I don’t think our manager would appreciate the office supply bill.”

"Hm?” Eunkwang props himself up on one elbow, eyebrows raised.

"Meaning it would go on forever, my love,” Minhyuk chuckles, kissing the tip of Eunkwang’s nose, and is rewarded when a stripe of pink makes his cheeks glow.

"Your list or mine?” Eunkwang questions aloud, sinking back down atop his partner.

“Both.”

“Good thing we have forever then,” Eunkwang says softly, the thumb of his left hand ghosting across the cheek of his lover. Stroking gently.

“Good thing,” Minhyuk agrees with another warm smile, guiding Eunkwang’s face back up to his so their lips can meet again in a slow, gentle kiss that could have well lasted for a lifetime.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a longer chapter! Aren't our boys just the cutest?   
> Anyway, please do leave me for comments and kudos! Thanks for reading <3


	5. Friction (When We're Not Together)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here it is! The long awaited Possessive! Minhyuk fic so many people have requested.  
> I am not too proud of this fic to be honest, it's not one of my bests but I tried my hardest so I hope you like it!

Minhyuk is not the jealous type. Or at least he thought he wasn’t. Across the bar, Eunkwang is being hit on by a girl, who’s talking and laughing and touching his shoulder, and Eunkwang is leaning against the counter, a polite smile on his face. After a while, Eunkwang returns to the booth that Minhyuk is sitting in and sets their drinks down, Minhyuk quickly makes a grab for the drinks, taking a long swig of the cold liquor, then another, and another.

“Woah there, slow down, Minhyuk. What’s gotten into you today?” Eunkwang questions as he slides into the seat across from him.

“Huh. I should say the same to you.”

Eunkwang raises his eyebrows, clearly confused. Minhyuk juts his chin towards the direction of the woman Eunkwang was just talking to. Eunkwang looks over his shoulder and when he turns back, his cheeks are a bright pink.

“I was just being polite! Also, are you jealous?” Eunkwang says as he waggles his eyebrows.

Minhyuk just rolls his eyes. “Ugh, do you think you can tone down your flirting just a little bit before the whole bar is smitten with you?”

Eunkwang smirks at that. “I can try. It’s not easy for me to turn off the ol’ Kwangie-charm.”

Minhyuk lets out a disgruntled huff.

“Minhyuk! You’re jealous! Just admit it!”

Minhyuk sighs and takes another big swig of his drink.

Eunkwang then props his head into his hands and stares deep into Minhyuk’s eyes. “Come here often?” he says, all husky and low, and then he winks. 

And just when Minhyuk is about to say something, the bartender approaches their table with a mysterious blue drink and sets it down.

‘From the woman in red over there.” He points across the bar to a different woman from the one who was flirting with Eunkwang earlier.

Eunkwang blushes and nods before lifting the glass in the direction of the woman, doing a cheers motion before taking a sip of the drink. Minhyuk eyes the woman and notices that the woman is walking over to them.

Something comes over Minhyuk, and he reaches across the table and grabs Eunkwang by his black suspenders and presses a sultry kiss to his lips. Eunkwang whimpers into the kiss and deepens it, Minhyuk only releases the shocked leader a few seconds later, leaving Eunkwang dazed and confused. 

“W-wha-”

“C’mon. Let’s dance.”

Before Eunkwang could get his stuttering words out of his mouth, Minhyuk is already pulling him to the dance floor.

Moments later, The two of them are out on the dance floor. Minhyuk pulls Eunkwang’s body close to him, shooting death-glares at any girl who looks like they are going to make a move on Eunkwang. He has his hands on Eunkwang’s hips and rolls his body seductively against him and is being rewarded by a sharp inhale from Eunkwang.

Minhyuk leans in and his lips graze against Eunkwang’s earlobe. “That woman is giving me death eyes right now.”

Eunkwang’s breath hitches at the contact. “Which one?”

“All of them.”

When Minhyuk pulls back, Eunkwang has a look of pure lust in his eyes that makes Minhyuk groan. 

He shouldn’t feel so smug right now, but he does.

“D-do you want to get out of h—”

“Yes.” Minhyuk has never replied so quickly. He nearly trips in his haste to get out of the bar.

As they leave, Minhyuk can feel several pairs of eyes on the two of them. He snakes his arm around Eunkwang waist for extra emphasis. Minhyuk is getting a great deal of satisfaction knowing that he will be the one in Eunkwang’s bed tonight.

When they reach the dorm that is thankfully empty, Minhyuk tugs Eunkwang straight to the bedroom, pushing him down into the bed before Eunkwang even had a change to take off his winter coat. Minhyuk likes being in control. He’s never been this assertive before.

He straddles the leader and kisses him hard. Letting his teeth graze Eunkwang’s earlobe again because he liked how he responded to it the other time.

“I’m going to make you glad you chose me and not the other women.” Minhyuk growls into his ear before kissing down Eunkwang’s neck while fumbling with the buttons on his shirt.

“M-Minhyuk...You know you don’t have to work that hard, right? I’ll always choose you. I’m already in love with you.”

Minhyuk pauses and jerks his head up, breathing heavily while his grip on Eunkwang’s waist tightens. “You are?”

“Of course, Silly! You didn’t know?”

“No,” Minhyuk says incredulously.

“Darn! I thought I was being so obvious. Should’ve hired a skywriter.”

Minhyuk chuckles.

Eunkwang watches him with a nervous expression before clearing his throat. “So, you like me back, right? Or else this would be pretty awkward….”

“Seo Eunkwang, i’ve never been more in love.” Minhyuk says, and his lips are back on the olders’ with even more passion than before.

When they come up for air a while later, Eunkwang teasingly says: “I’m loving the enthusiasm, Minhyuk. I should let girls flirt with me in bars more often.”

Minhyuk just rolls his eyes for the hundredth time and meets his lover’s lips with his own once more.

“Don’t you dare.”

_ You’re Mine _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working on a new chapter that I think many of you will enjoy!   
> It's a lengthy one and it's an AU! I've never written anything like this before but it's really fun.   
> Here's a hint: "Born To Bake"  
> STAY TUNED! IT MAY BE MY BEST FIC YET HAHAHA


	6. The Sweetest Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of homophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Bakery AU! Ahh, yes it's been awhile hasn't it? I'm sorry for my long departure but I've been fine-tuning this during the time I was gone. Now...this fic is my baby. Ive been working on it for a few weeks and now...I'm showing you...my precious fic baby! I really hope you guys enjoy it because I've put so much effort and love into this.  
> I won't hold you back anymore. Thanks everyone! Enjoy!

Eunkwang’s favorite spot on campus is the bakery. Sure, he loves the shady wooden bench under the cherry blossom tree, the peaceful quietness the library corners offer and the stairwells that lead to the principal’s office that never really has anyone in it, but the bakery is his favorite place out of all of them.

It’s a tiny bakery that’s tucked in a corner of the campus and it’s always busy during lunch breaks but Eunkwang knows when it’s the best time to come, when it’s just him and a few other students studying to the soft whirring noises of the coffee machine, delicate classical music and the warm and sweet smells that waft from the kitchen. He would always sit in the corner table by the window with the same kind of drink (Long Black) and he loves the blue ceramic mugs they use.

And, yes, he loves the pastries too, of course.

Macarons with their bright shells and creamy fruity fillings; croissants with their flakey, buttery pockets; the meringues, tiny and cute with their chewy, marshmallowy interiors and their pastel crispy shells; chocolate tarts with their crumbly crust and a layer of warm indulgent caramel; the rich, yet light chocolate sponge of the chocolate soufflé.

So no, the peaceful warmth of Born To Bake isn’t the only reason he comes to the bakery.

Eunkwang spreads his music notes out on the table, a fresh page of his notebook open in front of him, and bites into his Tarte aux Fraises with a happy sigh. It crumbles with his first bite, the flakey, buttery crust mixing with the tangy strawberry filling, all together perfect. He makes another small, happy sound, sips at his warm coffee, and throws himself into composing.

At Born To Bake, he's never interrupted. This is due to the fact that everyone who comes in on the late Tuesday afternoons are usually studying as well, so it came as a surprise to Eunkwang when he hears someone clears their throat above him. Eunkwang looks up, expecting to see Changsub, his roommate, but, instead, it's a boy he's never seen before.

He's small and pale but his arms are toned. He looks around the same age with Eunkwang. He's wearing a short sleeved chef’s coat that shows off his muscular arms and a pair of black pants that's painted with various colours from flour, chocolate and a variety of icings. He is holding something on a piece of paper towel.

“Hey there, do you come here often?” He asks, a flirtatious smirk on his face. Despite that fact that this mysterious boy is standing directly in front of him and making eye contact with Eunkwang, he still can't stop himself from glancing around the vicinity to see if there's a chance that this boy is talking to someone else.

“O-oh! I...I am sorry? You're talking to me?” Eunkwang finally replies after a moment of eye contact that was a little bit too long to not be considered terribly awkward for both parties involved.

“Yup! Definitely am! I'm Minhyuk.” The boy says, thrusting his hand out for Eunkwang to shake. “Sagittarius. 173 centimeter TALL. Full time baker, part time cutie and of course, a hundred percent honored to meet you!”

This only makes Eunkwang even more confused because there's a flirtatious vibe to this boy’s words.

“Eunkwang. My name is Eunkwang” Eunkwang says and the boy nods, before sitting on the chair opposite Eunkwang’s.

“You come to Born To Bake every Tuesday and Thursday, Eunkwang,” Minhyuk says, very confidently. “You always order the same drink and you always sit in the same corner and you study for exactly three hours before leaving”

“I end classes early on Tuesdays and Thursdays...” Eunkwang mumbles, and at this point, he isn’t sure if he should be creeped out that this stranger knows his schedule.

Minhyuk nods and leans back against his chair. “Well,” He says, “it seems that you enjoy coming here so I thought I’d come out with a treat to thank you since you obviously need a round two.” He points at Eunkwang’s plate and the last crumbs of his pastry. Minhyuk gestures for Eunkwang to hold out his hands. Eunkwang does so with some hesitation, and with great flare, Minhyuk placed the paper-towel onto them.

In it, sits a a sort of danish. The danish dough cradles a small pile of caramelized strawberries sitting atop a delicate swoop of some sort of yellow curd. He looks up at Minhyuk, who is leaning his elbow against the table top, propping his chin against it

Eunkwang takes a bite and oh.

 _Oh_.

It’s delicious. The dough is flakey, airy and perfectly rich and buttery, the sweetness of the strawberries cutting through the citrus zing of the creamy tangy curd. Eunkwang takes another bite and an audible groan escapes Eunkwang’s sticky lips. Being rewarded by Eunkwang’s little satisfied moan, Minhyuk breaks into a grin

When Minhyuk smiles, it reaches his eyes and Eunkwang finds his eye-smile extremely endearing.

“It's good, right?” Minhyuk says excitedly. “I am trying something new so I used yuzu creme instead of a lemon curd so it's a little bit more tart but it really complements the strawberries, I think!” He watches Eunkwang take another bite with a satisfied expression on his face.

“It's amazing,” Eunkwang assures him with a warm smile and Minhyuk straight up beams. Then his eyes grow wide, and he launches away from the table.

“Oh no! My quiche!” He's already sprinting back to the swinging doors that would let him behind the bakery case in which he vaults over like a professional gymnast instead of opening the door. He then disappears into the entrance of the kitchen and Eunkwang watches after him.

Strangely disappointed.

-

Eunkwang comes back on Thursday, like he usually does and orders his usual drink and sits at his usual spot and eats a pastry (a chocolate eclair), and tries to compose, as usual. But for some odd reason, he's looking around for Minhyuk, waiting to see if he would make an appearance.

And he does. He appears as quickly as he had the other day. And this time he is holding a mini cupcake in his hands, frosted with swirls of silky buttercream. He smiles sweetly and places it in front of Eunkwang.

“Lemon Poppy Seed,” he says, watching hopefully as Eunkwang takes tiny nibbles of the cupcake. Eunkwang nods happily,the tangy and warm flavor was comforting on his tongue. Minhyuk smiles.

-

This continues for a couple of weeks. Eunkwang would come in at his usual time and Minhyuk will come bounding out of the kitchen with a new sweet treat that he's trying out in hand. Mostly, the things he tries are delicious, like the sweet and chewy meringues. Some are mediocre like the blueberry cheese cake, while very few bad like the lemon-cinnamon scone which somehow tasted like how a perfume would smell.

Eunkwang finds himself looking forward to those few minutes with Minhyuk, because Minhyuk bleeds positivity and warmth and it makes Eunkwang feel like he can relax around him, stop worrying about how he appears and how other people think about him, before Minhyuk, he’s only felt that way around his best friend, Changsub.

So when Minhyuk asks Eunkwang is he is interested to hang out outside of the few minutes in the bakery, Eunkwang says yes almost immediately

-

“Aww! My Eunkwangie has made a little friend!” Changsub coos teasingly from his bed. “I’m so proud.”

Eunkwang scowls at his friend from his place by the wardrobe.

“I have other friends, you know,” Eunkwang mumbles, digging through the piles of clothes in his messy wardrobe. “You’re making it sound like I don’t.”

Changsub stops tuning his guitar and places it away before propping his chin up on his elbow to watch Eunkwang flinging unwanted clothes on the floor. “No, you have one friend, dude. Me. And, don’t get me wrong, I’m an AMAZING friend-”

“Wow! So modest.”

“Hey! It’s true! And you’ve been so antisocial lately, so you haven’t been getting out about doing the...college thing.”

“Huh. And what is the “college thing” exactly?”

“MEETING PEOPLE YOU DUMB SQUID. Getting out and about! Drinking illegally, making out with random girls at the back rooms of parties. You know! College things!

Eunkwang gives Changsub an irritated look. “I get out and about, I’m already twenty so it’s impossible for me to be drinking illegally, and you don’t make out with random girls in the bathroom too, ok? So don’t let the pot call the kettle black!”

“Pssssh”

“Changsub-ah!”

“Aaaaanyways,” Changsub says, ducking to avoid the sweater Eunkwang had flung at him. “I’d say, this is a tad bit more than making a friend, though.”

“What do you mean?” Eunkwang asks while styling his hair.

Chnagsub gives him a look. “Eunkwang. You’re styling your hair. You hate gel and the smell of hairspray, and I don’t think i’ve seen you in anything but dirty jeans and hoodies all year.”

Eunkwang looks down at his stylish ripped jeans, branded graphic t-shirt and black leather jacket. “What? I like it. I think I look good.”

“You do look good,” Changsub agrees and there’s a strange smugness to his voice. “First date good.”

Eunkwang instantly turns a brilliant shade of red. “What...I’m not...he’s not…I don’t…” He stammers, unable to meet Changsub’s eyes.

“What? Don’t like boys?” Changsub finishes, raising an eyebrow. “Eunkwang, that’s bullshit and you know it. Let’s see… Daeho-Sunbaenim. Every time he smiled at you, you blushed. A few months later, same thing, but with Kang Seojun.”

“I...he…”

Changsub raises his voice to talk over Eunkwang, ticking off the names on his fingers. “Eleventh grade, there was Jung MinHo. Freshman year of college, Daniel Goldman, the exchange student from America. Second half of freshman, David Goldman, his twin brother. Sophomore year, Lee H-”

“Okay! Okay! Stop! I get it…” Eunkwang says, interrupting Changsub. “I like boys.”

Changsub smiles in triumph. “Check. Mate. Have fun on your not-date that is probably a date,” He sings as Eunkwang puts on his sneakers. “And if you’re not back by the time for our jam session at the studio, i’m starting without you.”

-

It occurs to Eunkwang as he stands outside of his dorm building waiting for Minhyuk that he has actually never seen him in anything but his chef coat and he isn’t too sure what Minhyuk is actually going to be wearing. The thought causes a strange stab of worry, because even though the campus is mostly empty right now, he still worries that he’ll somehow miss Minhyuk.

It turns out that Eunkwang was worried for nothing as Minhyuk bounces straight up to him.

“Eunkwangie!” The squirrel-like boy says, absolutely bleeding enthusiasm, throwing an arm around him. “What should we do?”

“Oh,” Eunkwang says, slightly taken aback. He hadn’t actually thought about it. “I’m not sure, actually. What would you like to do?”

So, they do what two broke and hungry college students do. They go out for cheap pizza out of campus.

The pizza place is slightly sketchy to Eunkwang; all plastic tables and disposable plates and utensils and a layer of grease over everything, but Minhyuk insists that bad pizza is still somewhat good pizza, so he goes along and orders a slice of pepperoni pizza.

They sit at one of the four booths, and Eunkwang, ever the picky eater starts blotting the grease from his pizza slice with a napkin. Whilst looking around, he realises there were only three other people in here. Most of the students were probably out doing something else; it was a friday night, after all, plus there were also parties happening and better restaurants to go to.

Minhyuk plows through 2 slices of pizza in the time it takes Eunkwang to finish his one and only slice, and sits back, chewing on his straw from the empty soda cup.

“So,” Eunkwang says when the silence stretched a little bit too long for comfort, “How did you end up working at Born To Bake?” He had been curious for awhile now since the bakeries don’t usually hire twenty-year-olds and set them loose in the kitchens.

“Oh, Born To Bake was my mom’s,” Minhyuk explains, “She was the Fine Arts teacher for a while, but she always loved to bake, so she quit her job, went to culinary school, came back, and the facility let her take over the campus bakery!”

“Ah, I see. So...does she still work there?” Eunkwang asks, cautiously.

“She passed away when I was seventeen,” Minhyuk says, and when Eunkwang starts to stammer out apologies, he just shrugs. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”

“Who runs it now, then?” Eunkwang asks.

“Officially? The facility,” Minhyuk says, leaning back against the booth. “Unofficially…” He smiles softly. “I do.”

“They just let you stay?”

“Uh huh,” Minhyuk starts. “I mean, I grew up in that kitchen, ya’know? I mean, i’m pretty sure that’s illegal or at the very least frowned upon, but whatever. I could make a perfect souffle by the time i was twelve while the rest of the kids my age could barely make cup ramen. I know my stuff. They are not going to kick me out as long as everything runs smoothly and we still make money.”

“And how about you? What are you majoring in?” Minhyuk asks inquisitively, resting his head in his palms

“I major in Musical Theatre. I have been singing since I was a child and never looked back”

Minhyuk’s smile widens and he bounces excitedly in his seat.

“Oh my god! I’m a Major in applied music!”

Eunkwang’s eyes widen at Minhyuk’s words

“Woah, do you sing?” Eunkwang asks.

“Yup, I do, but I actually prefer to rap. Have you heard of Heota?”

“H-Heota…? WAIT A MINUTE! YOU’RE THAT AMAZING UNDERGROUND ANONYMOUS RAPPER, HEOTA?”  Eunkwang all but yells, he is so worked up he almost spills his drink.

Minhyuk chuckles and nods. “Shhh, You’re the first person I told”

Eunkwang nods solemnly  and draws a cross over his heart, and, just out of chance, happens to catch the time on the clock above the door. He gasps.

“Oh, shoot!” He begins gathering his things, checking his watch at the same time to make sure the clock is accurate. It is. “I’m really sorry, Minhyuk! I have to go. I’ll see you on Tuesday?”

Minhyuk looks disappointed, but nods. “Yeah. Tuesday.”

Eunkwang pauses. There’s something about the idea of leaving Minhyuk here, alone, that causes a pang of guilt in his heart, even as he smiles up at Eunkwang. “Hey,” Eunkwang says, “are you free next Monday? I could book a studio if you'd like and maybe we could just jam for a couple hours?”

Minhyuk’s eyes light up almost instantly. “Are you kidding? You could do that? Aw man, that'd be awesome! I'll send you my mixtape tonight!.”

“Well, my roommate and I always book the studio to record songs and hang out and I'd love for you to meet him as well?”

Minhyuk’s entire face lights up and Eunkwang’s entire heart warms.

-

Tuesday arrives and Changsub has staked out the best studio on campus (It provides the best acoustics apparently), and is messing around on the drums. Minhyuk looks around curiously, following Eunkwang over to Changsub.

“Here, do a sound check,” Changsub says, forcing the microphone into Eunkwang’s hands. He turns to Minhyuk, giving him an undisguised once-over.

“You must be-“

“Minhyuk. Lee Minhyuk” He says, cheerfully, grasping Changsub’s hand in a shake that goes on a little too long.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Changsub says, “I’m Changsub. I heard that you rap?”

“Oh yeah!” Minhyuk says, before picking up a microphone. He smiles up at them, dimples flashing.

“He’s really very good. I heard his rap on soundcloud.” Eunkwang adds shyly.

“Well, not as good as Seo Eunkwang’s vocals though. You’re a musical angel” Minhyuk says with a smirk and a flirtatious wink.

Something in Eunkwang gives a little flutter and the flutter only intensifies when Minhyuk wraps an arm across Eunkwang’s shoulder.

“Eunkwang, why don't you start us off?” Changsub comments and Eunkwang gives a small nod before moving to sit at the piano.

“Purple rain?”

“Oh man, that's like my favorite song!” Minhyuk says excitedly.

“Purple rain it is!”

A soft piano melody floats through the studio and Eunkwang starts off the song.

 

_The image of your back is still so clear_

_It pierces me like a thorn_

Eunkwang’s voice is soft and delicate like clouds, he is accompanied by Changsub on the drums and it provided a strong yet airy beat and when Minhyuk joins in with his low and husky rap that warms Eunkwang’s soul like hot embers, it sounds almost too good.

_Falling in the rain_

_Oh, Falling in the rain_

They finish the song and Minhyuk is so happy he wraps Eunkwang up in his arms and presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek and Eunkwang’s brain is short circuiting.

He tries to ignore Chnagsub’s strangely smug looks that he sends Eunkwang’s way throughout the entire hour.

It’s harder than he expected.

-

Eunkwang still sees Minhyuk at the bakery, sure, but they also start seeing each other outside of it, too. They don't have a lot of free time between classes, work and studying but they still see each other when they can. It's good because Changsub likes Minhyuk too, so sometimes they hang out and then,they're introduced to Minhyuk’s roommate. Hyunsik is a tall, eternally smiling ray of sunshine who you can't help but to immediately like.

Hyunsik is majoring in Music composition and theory, with a minor in Music History. Minhyuk is double majoring in Applied music and songwriting, AND is doing gymnastics on the side (which explains his toned body) all the while juggling a job at the bakery which makes Eunkwang’s head hurt just thinking about the amount of work he has. Eunkwang and Changsub are busy as well with their major in Musical Theatre and minors in Music composition and songwriting. And they all have jobs; Minhyuk at the bakery, Eunkwang at the library, Changsub at a fried chicken chain off campus and Hyunsik at a Fine Art Museum. Free time is few and far in between, but they make do.

And they all get along so well that after a couple of months that they start getting together, just the four of them. Hyunsik and Eunkwang would go to see plays, Changsub and Hyunsik would play video-games together at each other’s dorm rooms, and Changsub and Minhyuk are a match made in heaven (or hell, depending on who you talk to) going to skate parks to practise new tricks or getting into tons of trouble pranking their lecturers.

The only downside is that Changsub would not stop teasing Eunkwang about him “dating” Minhyuk.

“Jesus, I am not dating Minhyuk, Changsub-ah!” Eunkwang says for what feels like the millionth time, after he tiptoes into their dorm room at 2AM to find Changsub waiting up for him.

“Oh, really? SURE!” Changsub says sarcastically, cocking an eyebrow. “Because all this…” he waves a hand up and down Eunkwang. “Seems a lot like you’re secretly dating someone, to be honest.”

Eunkwang scratches the back of his head, cheeks growing hot. “We went to a fundraiser! The exchange student from Minhyuk’s class, Peniel was doing a speech and Minhyuk wanted to support him.”

“Uh huh,” Changsub says, and Eunkwang’s blush deepens. He flops down into his bed, shrugging off his denim jacket.

“I swear, Changsubbie, we’re not dating.”

“Okay, yes, sure, but are you sleeping together?”

“LEE CHANGSUB!”

“Fine,” Changsub says, and leans back onto his own bed. “But, Eunkwang, you seem to really like him. What if opportunity is knocking on your god damned door to date someone who isn’t a prick for once in your life and you’re throwing it away?” He gives Eunkwang a look that makes Eunkwang close his mouth before he was even aware he was opening it. “I know you like Minhyuk, Eunkwang-ah”

“Maybe I do,” Eunkwang mutters softly. There’s a loose thread on his jacket and he picks at it nervously before he can even stop himself. “But...I just…my parents.”

Changsub nods and stays silent for a long while. “Eunkwang, they don’t have to know. You don’t need to seek their approval anymore.”

Eunkwang laughs but it’s closer to a scoff. “I know it’s stupid. I’m so stupid. I’ll never get their approval. In their eyes, i’m just a failure of a child who couldn’t get into medical school.”

“Eunkwang, you are not stupid,” Changsub says, so fiercely that Eunkwang looks over, shocked. “You’re brilliant, one of the smartest and strongest people I know.” He leans over, rummages in the desk they have wedged under their window between the two beds and holds out a stack of papers neatly categorized and colour coded in a file. Handwritten composition sheets and lyric sheets in Eunkwang’s neat script and Changsub’s messy scrawl. “This is not a work of someone who’s stupid. These songs...These melodies are our babies, Eunkwang, and it’s a brilliant baby”

He tosses the file at Eunkwang, who catches it. He runs his fingertips across the first page; the first song they ever composed. _Insane._ He and Changsub had spent hours and days and weeks and months and years composing all of these songs, poured every bit of emotion and knowledge into it. They had chosen their fields of study because of it.

“Eunkwang, you’re brilliant, we’re brilliant, our baby’s brilliant. And you don’t have to be seeking your parents small-minded approval.”

“I guess so,” Eunkwang says softly.

Even long after Changsub falls asleep, Eunkwang stays awake, staring at the blank ceiling, thoughts a storm.

-

Changsub’s birthday is approaching and even though he keeps insisting on no gifts and no party. Eunkwang stills wants to do something for him.

So, he goes to Minhyuk.

“I want to bake Changsub a cake,” Eunkwang says nervously. “And I can barely make a cake, even with a boxed mix, let alone make one that would actually look edible. So, do you think...you could…?”

“Show you how to bake a cake?” Minhyuk asks, grinning, and Eunkwang nods. Minhyuk grabs Eunkwang’s hands excitedly. “Oh, Eunkwangie, I've been waiting for this moment my entire life! Consider me your guide to all baked goods!”

“I'll pay you,” Eunkwang insists and Minhyuk shakes his head vehemently.

“Changsub’s my friend too. Consider the lack of cost my birthday gift to him.” He hops up and grabs Eunkwang’s hand to pull him to his feet. Eunkwang’s stomach flutters at the contact, like there's butterflies in his gut. “His birthday is on Friday, right?”

“Yeah?”

“I'll meet you at Born to Bake, 4PM sharp and trust me when I say we’ll make a beautiful cake,” Minhyuk says with a smile on his face. He let's go of Eunkwang’s hand, and Eunkwang is left, standing in the grass outside their campus, staring at his tingling palm.

-

“Welcome to my domain!” Minhyuk sings, opening the kitchen door to let Eunkwang in first. Eunkwang steps inside, cautiously, clutching a borrowed apron from Minhyuk to his chest. Minhyuk spins on his heel, giving a wide gesture to the open room of the kitchen. “In this realm, I am the king, so you must refer to me as either Your Majesty or Your Highness.”

“Um, i’ll just stick with Minhyuk, if that’s okay.”

“That works too,” Minhyuk says and leans back against one of the tables. He smiles at Eunkwang, tilting his head. “So. Tell me. What kind of cake does Changsub like?”

“He likes coffee cake.” Eunkwang says, almost instantly.

Minhyuk nods thoughtfully. “A unusual choice. Is he a white chocolate or cream cheese kind of person.”

“Huh?”

“Truly, the only two frostings that should be used on a coffee cake are white chocolate or cream cheese. So what do you think Changsub prefers?”

“Um, i’m actually not too sure,” Eunkwang says, watching Minhyuk flying into action, jumping to grab a heavy, stuffed binder off the top of a shelf.

“We’ll make white chocolate cream cheese frosting then.” Minhyuk says, tongue peeking out between his lips as he flicks through the binder. “I like it better, anyways. The cream cheese cuts through the sweetness of the white chocolate.”

He picks a piece of paper from the binder and flings the binder back into its spot.

“Aha! Got it.” Minhyuk shoves the piece of paper into Eunkwang’s hands and walks off. Within thirty seconds, there’s music blasting through the speaker

He picks out a piece of paper from the binder, and flings the binder back into its spot. Eunkwang hadn’t noticed, the whirring of ovens, and the noisy clatter of a stack of sheet pans being dropped on a table.

“It’s time, mise en place, Eunkwang!”  Minhyuk says, dancing around the table to take a hold of Eunkwang’s hands.

“...Meeze...in plaws…?” Eunkwang sounds the words out. They’re unfamiliar, strange on his tongue, but Minhyuk just chuckles.

“Mise en place!” He says again, as if it answers Eunkwang’s question. “Everything in its place!” He taps the recipe with his fingertips. “Do you want to scale for the cake or make the frosting?”

Eunkwang glances through the recipe and nods. “The frosting, please.” It has less ingredients and less chance to screw up the measurements.

It takes Eunkwang twice as long to prepare as it takes Minhyuk to scale for the cake, and even then, Minhyuk still gets some of the ingredients for him, because he doesn’t understand more than half of what comes out of Minhyuk’s mouth.

Don’t use Lactania, use the Anchor. Grab a paddle attachment for this step. Don’t use coverture for this, just use the Hershey's chocolate.

But still, it’s fun, and he gets to watch Minhyuk.

It’s fascinating, really. It’s quite horrifying, too, when he finds out how much sugar goes into the cake. But it's fascinating. _Minhyuk is fascinating_. Eunkwang is put in charge of sifting everything, and whisking the eggs and milk together, which is for the best as he isn’t the best baker. Minhyuk, however, seems to be born for it. (Hence, Born To Bake?) He literally dances through the kitchen, an english rap song blasting through the speakers at volumes so high, Eunkwang thought his ears may start bleeding but he lets himself get caught up in this infectious positivity and delight that seems to just ooze from Minhyuk.

Eunkwang watches him move through the kitchen like it’s his own little slice of paradise. Every step and part of this cake is treated with utmost care and Minhyuk breathes life into it with each movement. By the time the cake, now portioned into three round pans, is put into the oven, Eunkwang feels like he just watched a painting be finished.

The whir of the mixer, coaxing the frosting into stiff peaks, is forgotten beside him, and something in his chest gives a little tug, a little skip, when Minhyuk dances over, head bobbing in time to a upbeat song. His apron is dusted with flour and his cheek has a smear of icing on it, but that’s not what Eunkwang notices.

Instead, he notices the gyrating movements of Minhyuk’s hips, the way his eyes scrunches as he smiles, the way he reaches for Eunkwang’s hands, grasping them tightly, before pulling him into a dance. And Eunkwang really isn’t much of a dancer, he’s always too clumsy, but right now, it’s just him and Minhyuk in the kitchen.

And so,

 _he dances_.

-

The cake is perfect as promised. Minhyuk presses a finger to the center of one of the cakes delicately, and when it springs back, he declares them to be done. They're left to cool, then with practiced efficiency, he has them out of the pans and sliced in half in a blink of an eye. He places them on a turntable, makes a grab for the frosting and gets to work.

Minhyuk makes it look so easy, Eunkwang notices. Smooth and precise movements are made as he spreads and smooths the frosting across the cake. He makes it look like it's the easiest thing to do, while Eunkwang knows that in his hands, it would be disastrous. When it's done, it's marvelous. Velvety and creamy white, cookie crumbs patted up the sides and the top is sprinkled with silver dragees.

“Changsub is going to love it,” Eunkwang says and Minhyuk grins, proud of himself and glances over to the other table. There are piles upon piles of dirty dishes and pans, and Eunkwang cringes. They should have been done while the cakes were baking but Minhyuk had pulled Eunkwang into a goofy rendition of “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion. It had been gloriously hilarious and made Eunkwang double over in laughter when Minhyuk attempted the high notes.

“Eh, those dishes can wait,” Minhyuk says before whipping out something from behind his back. It's a cupcake, although a bit misshapen due to it being baked in a paper cup and not in an appropriate mold. “There was some batter left,” Minhyuk explains while he scoops some leftover frosting from the bowl and lathers it on top of the warm cake. “So, I dumped it into this so we could try it. You know, to make sure it's not absolute garbage.”

“Huh. Smart move,” Eunkwang says, watching as Minhyuk breaks the cupcake in half. He takes his half, sliding down the fridge door to sit cross legged on the floor. Minhyuk follows him, and Eunkwang tried not to notice how close Minhyuk is sitting next to him. So close that their hips, thighs and shoulders are touching. Each slight contact sends a spark through Eunkwang that reaches his heart, so, he shifts nervously in his place and tries to repress it.

“Cheers!” Minhyuk says, and knocks his slice against Eunkwang’s.

Eunkwang takes a nibble. It's wonderful, of course it is. The cake is moist with a slight bitterness from the coffee flavor. The frosting carrying both the sweetness of the white chocolate and the tang and creaminess from the cream cheese. Eunkwang takes small bites, wanting to savor the flavor, while Minhyuk scarfs down his half as though he hasn't eaten in days. A pink tongue peeks out from Minhyuk’s lips to lick a fleck of frosting off his lips, and Eunkwang’s eyes are drawn to the barest flick of his tongue. He feels his heart racing and his cheeks warming and he's not quite sure why.

Eunkwang finishes his cupcake, but he doesn't get up from his spot. He stays there, sitting against the fridge next to Minhyuk. His jeans are dusted with flour, his shoes has egg white stains on them and his hoodie is painted with white frosting. He focuses his mind on these small details to distract himself from the physical proximity of him and Minhyuk.

It doesn't work. It especially isn't working when Minhyuk makes a small adorable sound of happiness and slides down the refrigerator, pressing his face against Eunkwang’s arm. Unsure of what to do, Eunkwang awkwardly pats Minhyuk’s head and Minhyuk makes another little sound of content. It's almost unbearably adorable.

“What do I have to give you to get you to do the dishes?” He asks, which makes Eunkwang chuckle before giving the boy a small shove.

“Oh, you are _so_ not getting out of this!”

“Awwwwright mom,” Minhyuk drawled teasingly, and slides down Eunkwang’s arm so his head is resting in his lap. Eunkwang freezes and his breath hitches, holding his hands awkwardly a few inches above Minhyuk, unsure if it would be better to touch him or not. Minhyuk blinks and stares up at him, eyes warm and bright, and Eunkwang’s heart skips a beat.

“Hey, Eunkwangie?”

“Yeah?” Eunkwang chokes on the word, swallowing hard. Minhyuk is looking at him intensely which makes Eunkwang’s body feel warm.

“You’re really cute and it’s getting distracting.” Minhyuk reaches up to gently pinch Eunkwang's cheeks. “Could you stop being so cute?”

Eunkwang is sure his face is a bright red by now, and Minhyuk sits up, facing him. “See? Like that. You’re so cute it’s stopping me from doing the dishes.”

“W-well, I think you’re adorable too,” Eunkwang says, voice shaking. He clears his throat and squeaks when Minhyuk moves forward, so he’s practically sitting in Eunkwang’s lap. They’re so close, their noses are almost touching, Minhyuk is smirking in a way that makes Eunkwang’s stomach jump.

“Really, you think i’m adorable?” He says in a way that Eunkwang can only describe as a sultry purr, and desire curls in Eunkwang’s gut; warm, hot and sweet like chocolate.

“I do,” Eunkwang says, and Minhyuk is so, _so_ deliciously close. “I think…” he swallows, taking in a deep breath to muster up courage, letting the words fall from his tongue. “I think you’re hot.”

And with that, they’re kissing.

Minhyuk’s lips are hot and heavy, searching and burning against Eunkwang’s, almost as though he has the world narrowed down to Eunkwang's soft lips and warm skin. Unconsciously, Eunkwang’s hand slides up, barely under the hem of Minhyuk’s shirt, letting it rest against Minhyuk’s toned stomach. Minhyuk lets out a growl against Eunkwang’s lips and Eunkwang pulls him closer.

Minhyuk pulls back, breathes words into Eunkwang’s lips. “Are you okay? Is this okay?”

Eunkwang nods eagerly. “Yes. Yes. God, yes.”

And they're kissing again.

He's swimming in a sea of desires. He's getting lost, lost in touch and sensations and skin, the kiss is not gentle. It's not hesitant nor is it soft. This is lips and tongue and teeth and _want_ , two boys desperately searching and finding and taking what they need. This is the ache of a nibble, the dig of fingernails against skin and the growl of pure lust, and Eunkwang feels Minhyuk everywhere and anywhere, all at once. Minhyuk’s lips pressed against his and his hands are in Minhyuk’s hair and he's between Eunkwang’s legs. When they pull apart, Eunkwang's gasps like Minhyuk breathed life into him and his heart feels like it's trying to beat out of his chest.

Minhyuk’s hair is ruffled and his eyes are dark, his chest is heaving and he smiles, all teeth and tongue and a seductive tilt to his head.

“Dishes can wait?”

“Dishes can wait,” Eunkwang nods.

The dishes sit in the sink for a long time.

-

As expected, Changsub loves the cake. They are sitting in their dorm. Changsub and Eunkwang on one bed, Hyunsik and Minhyuk on the other, plastic plates of cake balanced on their laps. Minhyuk is currently fighting Hyunsik for the last piece of his cake even though he still has more than half a slice on his own plate. Changsub elbows Eunkwang in the ribs, and when Eunkwang looks over at him, he finds Changsub looking at him suspiciously.

“What're you looking at?”

“You are all flushed,” Changsub says, a teasing tone in his voice. He pokes Eunkwang’s side, eyes narrowing.

“Well, i-it’s hot in here,” Eunkwang stammers, and Changsub raises an eyebrow.

“Are you sure it has nothing to do with a certain person currently tickling Hyunsik to death?”

“No!” Eunkwang blurts out, a little bit too fast to play it off, and Changsub grins triumphantly.

“Okay, fine, maybe. C’mon don't look at me like that. We kissed only once! A couple of times. Okay, a lot of times. But it all happened in one night so I guess it counts as one kiss?”

Changsub’s smug smile only grows wider the longer Eunkwang babbles. Eunkwang finally sighs in defeat, recognizing the look Changsub gives him.

“Fine. Say it. Just say it, Changsub.”

“I. CALLED. IT. I CALLED IT! I CALLED IT! I FRICKIN’ CALLED IT” Changsub yells happily, punching his fist in the air. “Thank you, Eunkwang! This is the best birthday present ever. I'm so proud of myself…I mean you!”

“Called what?” Hyunsik asks from the bed opposite them. Minhyuk is currently trying to get Hyunsik into a headlock to steal his cake, it's not working out too well as Hyunsik seems ultimately unphased.

“Eunkwang and Minhyuk finally grew some balls,” Changsub says, and Hyunsik’s eyes widen in surprise.

“HAH! Really? Took you two love-birds long enough!”

Eunkwang resists the temptation to bury his face in his hands. He instead focuses his attention on his cake, choosing to avoid everyone’s eyes. Minhyuk, on the other hand, grins widely. He gives up stealing Hyunsik’s cake and bounces over to the bed Eunkwang and Changsub are on, flopping between the two of them. Changsub scoots away to avoid Minhyuk knocking his cake over.

Minhyuk curls around Eunkwang like a lazy cat, stretching up to kiss him on the cheek. “It did, didn't it?” He asks, giving Eunkwang a lovely smile.

Eunkwang smiles softly back, lets the velvet and wild honey warmth fill his chest, comforting and soft and perfect.

_It feels like home_

-

When it happens, they're sitting on freshly cut grass under sunshine. It's still cold, a winter sort of sunshine. The both of them are bundled up in warm coats and fuzzy gloves, and they huddle together on a blanket but, it is still sunshine, and after weeks of rain and freezing cold, students are piling outside to enjoy the sun.

Minhyuk is laying across Eunkwang’s lap, reading a book while humming a tune, and Eunkwang has a textbook propped on Minhyuk’s tummy, chewing on the end of a pencil.

Eunkwang is focused on strings of music notes and the warm, heavy weight of Minhyuk sprawled across him. But something makes him look up. It's Professor Kim, standing at the edge of the lawn and staring at them. There's something in the way that he's looking at them that makes Eunkwang uneasy. And when he starts making his way towards the pair, Eunkwang stiffens.

Minhyuk notices his boyfriend’s nervous energy and props himself up to look at Eunkwang. “Eunkwangie, is there something wrong?”

“P-Professor Kim!” Eunkwang blurts out, Minhyuk still looks on confused until Professor Kim replies coldly.

“Mr. Seo,” he says, looking down at Eunkwang and Eunkwang’s fingers tighten around his pencil.

“I was studying!” He says, holding up the textbook. “Ah, not for your class though. Um, b-but not that I haven't been studying for your class. I study a lot! For your class, I mean!”

Professor Kim makes a disinterested grunt, and Eunkwang falls silent. Suddenly, Eunkwang feels uncomfortably warm in spite of the cold weather. Minhyuk rolls over onto his elbows. His middle still strewn across Eunkwang’s crossed legs.

Professor Kim’s expression gets even more cold, “Mr. Seo, have you no shame? Do you think that this is appropriate?”

At first, Eunkwang thinks that he is referring the the studying, or sitting outside in the cold, but then he notices how Minhyuk freezes, his expression getting icy. He notices the way Professor Kim’s eyes flit between the pair, his lips curling into a disgusted frown.

_Oh._

And Eunkwang suddenly feels so, so small. He's fourteen years old again, huddled in the corner of a school building, hand hastily wiping tears away, lips still tingling, ears ringing.

Which is why Eunkwang does what he does next. He forces out an awkward laugh. “Oh! You...you think that we’re dating?” Minhyuk’s body gets rigid. “Ha…” he says weakly, and Professor Kim stares down at them. Finally he makes another disgruntled gruff, and leaves hastily.

Minhyuk rolls off Eunkwang. Eunkwang’s hands reach out for him.

“W-wait, Minhyuk…”

Minhyuk doesn’t meet his eyes. He just gathers his stuff in his arms before moving away quickly.

“No. I get it, Eunkwang.” He says, shoving his stuff into his bang. “Whatever we did. It was just a one-time thing. We made out. It’s not like we haven’t left each other’s side this last week. It’s not like you kissed me this afternoon when you saw me. It’s not like we held hands the entire walk here.”

Minhyuk is already half way across the lawn when Eunkwang gets on his feet.

“Minhyuk! Please! W-wait!” Eunkwang takes off, running towards him, his books and blanket forgotten on the grass. “Minhyuk!”

But, Minhyuk was already _gone_.

-

“God dammit, Eunkwang! What possessed you to do something like that?”

Eunkwang drops his head into his hands, groaning. Changsub’s anger is a force to be reckoned with and now, it’s focused on Eunkwang.

“I don’t know, Changsub-ah.” Eunkwang mumbles into his hands. “I panicked!”

“That is _SO_ not an excuse!”

“I know.” Eunkwang looks up miserably at his friend, tears gathering in his eyes. “I feel so awful, Changsub. Every time I think about it I want to throw up.”

Changsub tries to continue looking furious for a few more seconds before his expression drops and his heart grows soft. He lets out a huff of breath and sits down carefully next to Eunkwang. He reaches out to awkwardly pat Eunkwang’s shoulder, like he’s unsure if this is the right action to do.

“Eunkwang, you need to talk to him.”

“I know.”

“I have no idea what you should say, but you should still talk to him.

“Wow, thanks. That’s helpful.” Eunkwang says, sarcastically and lets his head fall against his knees again.”

“Eunkwang, you need to talk to him as soon as possible, the longer you wait this out, the worse it’ll get. Trust me.”

Changsub is right. Of course, he’s right because Changsub is always right. “You’re right, but I don’t think now is a good time...I mean, he’s still at work and-”

“Eunkwang, if you don’t go talk to him now, you’ll just keep coming up with lame excuses. You know i’m right.

“But-”

“FOR GOD’S SAKE, EUNKWANG.”

Eunkwang sighs. “Okay, okay. Let me just put on actual pants first alright?” He pulls at the fabric of his ratty pajamas. He climbs off the bed, head throbbing from the stress headache that had formed after the disaster. Changsub watches as Eunkwang shuffles around the room, finally pulling on a warm coat. He hesitates, fingers gripping the door handle, and turns back to Changsub.

Changsub sighs, “I don’t understand why you did what you did but good luck. Explain whatever your flawed reasoning was to pretend that you two aren’t dating and I hope it all works out well, okay?”

“Thanks, Changsub-ah.” Eunkwang whispers. He takes a deep breath, and slips out the door.

-

It was easier than Eunkwang thought to get inside of the kitchen. A part of him secretly hoped that the door would be locked but the door swings open easily, letting him into the kitchen. A few of the staff gave him curious looks, but no one actually stops him. And at the corner, there's Minhyuk standing in front of a mixture. He sees Eunkwang coming and he gives Eunkwang a tight lipped smile.

“Eunkwang,” he says coolly. He tosses a handful of butter into the mixer where a lump of dough is circling around.

“Minhyuk,” Eunkwang starts, then hesitates, unsure of how to continue. Eunkwang curls his hands into fists, clutching at the fabric of his oversized coat, in an attempt to hide his trembling hands. He doesn't think it actually worked.

“Minhyuk,” he starts again, stops, then blabbers quickly, “I am so sorry. Whatever happened this morning had nothing to do with you. It was all me, I promise!

“I never would've guessed!” Minhyuk says, sarcasm lacing his words. Eunkwang flinches. Minhyuk throws in more butter into the mix with more force than necessary. He's still not meeting Eunkwang’s eyes, not that Eunkwang actually blames him.

“I'm not excusing it.” Eunkwang says, hands fidgeting nervously. He stares at the dough, watching it blur into a pale lump as it goes around and around and around the mixer. “I just want you to know how sorry I am and how terrible I feel. It's fine if you don't want to see me anymore, if you hate me...I wouldn't blame you. I just need you to know that I am so sorry.”

Minhyuk is silent for a short moment, turning the mixer off. Finally, he looks up at Eunkwang and for the first time, Eunkwang notices the dusting of flour on his nose. “I want you to tell me why.”

“What?” Eunkwang says, confused. Minhyuk crosses his arms, holding his butter-coated hands away from his body.

“I want you to tell me why you would react like that.” He says, leaning his body against the table.

There's a painful ache behind his ribcage, the all-too-familiar feeling of panic that's inching its way up his throat. Suddenly, he's fourteen again and someone's yelling and he can't breathe, breaths coming out in short and shallow gasps, and everyone is staring at him and laughing at him. All he wants to do is run. Energy is rushing through his veins, his fight-or-flight instincts kicking in but he can't-

“Eunkwang?”

Eunkwang holds onto Minhyuk’s voice. Using it as an anchor to pull him back down to earth, stabilizing him. Minhyuk is looking at him, concern etched in his strong features. His hand is placed on Eunkwang’s back, rubbing it soothingly. Eunkwang takes in a few more ragged breaths, mustering up some courage.

“W-when I was fourteen,” he starts, hesitates, continues, “I was caught kissing Kang Sungwook behind the bleachers”

These feelings have been repressed but now that they are being revealed, an uneasy feeling is rising in his chest. He hasn't talked about this with anyone besides Changsub. So, combined with the events that had occurred in the last few hours, a toxic and painful cocktail of guilt, anxiety and residual feeling of absolute insecurity and smallness that came when he thinks about his first kiss bubbles in his chest. It shouldn't be like this, most people remember their first kiss fondly, but growing up in a small and homophobic town, being caught by the bullies whose sole purpose in life was to make Eunkwang's life miserable had immediately went to tell everyone…

It was all just too much

Eunkwang found himself in tears, and everything is spilling from his trembling lips, he's apologizing in between short gasping sobs, and Minhyuk is left standing there, and finally, he quietly asks,

“Eunkwang, are you...are you not out, yet?”

“N-not officially?” Eunkwang mutters, after slowing down his sobs. Everyone else in the kitchen is trying very hard to pretend nothing is happening but gave up and most of them had left. “Changsub knows, but then again, Changsub knows everything and I didn't even tell him.”

Minhyuk fell silent again before finally saying, “I didn't know.”

“And, you knowing would've made a difference?”

“Of course, Eunkwangie!” Minhyuk shakes his head. “There's a huge difference between your boyfriend denying your relationship because they are too embarrassed , and denying it because they aren't out yet and being confronted by a homophobic professor.”

They're silent again. Eunkwang hastily wipes more tears off his face. Minhyuk takes the dough out of the mixer, places it on the table and sets a cloth over it.

“I get off work in about an hour or so,” Minhyuk offers, looking up at Eunkwang. “Hyunsik isn't going to be in our room until later tonight. Maybe you'd like to come over and talk?”

Eunkwang smiles, it's small and a bit shaky, but nonetheless, it's still a smile. “That would be great.”

Minhyuk bites his lips, eyes casting downwards. “Eunkwangie…I am sorry too. I should've stuck around to hear your side of things.” He hesitates for a moment, then reaches out and pulls Eunkwang into a bone-crushing hug. Eunkwang grips his chef's coat, hugging back equally tight, closing his eyes and letting stray tears drip on Minhyuk’s shoulder.

“Um, Eunkwang. I got butter on your coat.”

“I don't care.”

_I love you_

-

They go back to Minhyuk’s dorm. And they talk. They talk a lot. It's emotionally exhausting but it's good, too, lasting late into the night, until Eunkwang falls asleep on Minhyuk’s chest to soft murmurs of sweet nothings.

Eunkwang is woken by the heavy door being opened and a shout of “AH HA!” He jolts awake, losing his balance on the bed and his body ultimately meeting the floor with a loud thud, dragging the blanket with him. Minhyuk pops up from his spot on the bed, his hair a wild mess of tangles, eyes squinting in the bright light coming from the windows.

Changsub and Hyunsik are standing at the doorway, looking entirely too cheerful this early in the morning. Changsub hauls Eunkwang to his feet, and Hyunsik takes a seat on his bed, grinning. Eunkwang wrenches his hands from Changsub’s grasp and crawls back up into Minhyuk’s bed, groaning and burying his face into Minhyuk chest before sighing happily.

“Anyway,” Hyunsik starts, patting the space next to him for Changsub to sit. “We actually went to Born to Bake to find you, but there was no sign of you.”

“It wasn't a complete waste of time though,” Changsub breaks in, “We did eat chocolate tarts for breakfast. Six-year-old Changsub would've been so proud.”

“What time is time?” Eunkwang looks around, squinting for the clock.

“Nine-thirty,” Hyunsik says, and Eunkwang groans, dropping back into the pillow. Minhyuk follows him, plopping down atop of Eunkwang and nuzzling his head at the space between his neck and shoulder. Hyunsik looks on at them in interest.

“Hm, I assume that ah...well… from all of this…” he says, making a gesture at the two of them, “That you two worked it out?”

“Yeah,” Eunkwang says, smiling softly down at his boyfriend. Minhyuk smiles a back at him that melts his heart, Minhyuk reaches his hands towards Eunkwang’s own to entwine their fingers together. “We did.”

-

A few days later, they go and place themselves in front of Professor Kim’s office door and make out. He is less than thrilled.

-

The year draws to a close, this leads to Eunkwang sitting in the bakery after his last final. Minhyuk is off work and has claimed one of the couches of the bakery, his body spread across the entire couch while a small pile of gingersnap cookies are balanced on his tummy.

“Eunkwangie, relax.” He says, nibbling at a warm cookie. “Finals are over! We have an entire summer to NOT study. It's going to be amazing.”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I'm not studying,” Eunkwang says, taking an offered cookie. “I am looking for apartments.” He takes a bite of the cookie. It's delicious, the cookie is warm and nutty, lightly flavoured with a pumpkin spice with the tiniest hint of nutmeg.

Minhyuk sits up abruptly, the cookies falling into his lap. “What?”

Eunkwang looks up from the papers spread out in front of him. “Changsub and I were talking about it the other day, while none of us are doing summer quarter, we do have jobs here. And I absolutely have no desire to move back with my parents and Changsub’s parents aren't going to be home this entire summer, anyway, so we thought… why not just stay here?”

Minhyuk scoops his cookies into a plate and get off the couch, peeking over Eunkwang’s shoulder. “Which one do you like?”

Eunkwang groans. “None.” He spreads the fliers across the table, scooting aside as suddenly Minhyuk is crawling into his small seat, in the end, Eunkwang ends up sitting on Minhyuk’s lap. “The ones we like are too expensive, the one we can afford look like dumpsters.” He sighs and looks at a photo of him and Changsub’s favorite apartment. A nice one that's only a few blocks away from campus.

Minhyuk is quiet for a few moment, before softly saying, “Actually, Hyunsik has been complaining a lot lately about how shitty our dorms are, and have been dropping hints about moving. Maybe...if the four of us could find a place together, we could actually afford it?”

Eunkwang twists in his place on Minhyuk’s lap to look at him. “Really?”

Minhyuk nods. “I know we've only been dating for a few months, but…”

Before Minhyuk could continue, Eunkwang is pressing a sloppy kiss on Minhyuk’s lips. “Minnie, you are a genius! That's a great idea!” Eunkwang's mind is already churning. “I mean, I’d have to talk to Changsub first, but he loves you and Hyunsik and we basically we spend most of our time together anyway.”

Minhyuk smiles, tilting his head upwards and stroking Eunkwang’s cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “Is that a maybe?”

Eunkwang kisses him in response.

-

Changsub and Hyunsik are unpacking in the other room, all the while singing along to a random pop song on the radio obscenely loudly, Eunkwang thinks that they're probably a little bit drunk. Eunkwang is on his back on his bed, staring up at the white ceiling. He yawns, he's tired. Really really tired; he got up too early that morning and now it's already late into the night.

There's a soft pitter patter of footsteps against the wooden floorboard, then a weight settles on the bed. Minhyuk curls up against Eunkwang like a cat.

“My bed is too far away,” he says in explication, and Eunkwang decides not to point it out that it's merely four feet away

“What are you doing?” He asks. His nose nuzzling Eunkwang cheek.

“Not much, I'm tired.”

Minhyuk nods, Eunkwang pulls Minhyuk closer and presses his face into Minhyuk’s chest, breathing in his scent. He smells like the bakery; like freshly made bread, chocolate and warm cookies. It's a comforting smell.

“So,” Minhyuk starts, “Now that we've achieved this huge milestone in our relationship...Is there anything you wanna talk about?”

“Hmm. Like what?”

“I don't know...any childhood secrets? Thoughts and plans and dreams for the future. Life long goals?”

Eunkwang lies flat on his back on the bed, staring at the plain white ceiling, his boyfriend snuggled against his side, and he thinks of his and Changsub’s work, hidden away in Changsub’s top dresser drawer. They’re ready. They’ve been ready for almost a year, but Eunkwang hasn’t let Changsub start sending their songs into agencies yet, there was still something missing. No, _someone_ missing. It’s scary, too scary, because he has failed enough, and the words his parents had said to him still haunted him. But…this is Minhyuk next to him, wild, wonderful and talented Minhyuk, and if anyone could complement their music and give it a depth it has never reached before , it would be Minhyuk.

Eunkwang hesitates. “W-what do you think about starting a band…?”

Minhyuk’s smile lights up the room.

“Let's call it ….”

_Born To Beat_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Do leave me a comment about what you think! I really love this fic and I wanna know your opinions too.  
> Until next time~  
> See you!  
> P.S I'm thinking of maybe getting a twitter or tumblr to interact more with you guys, so which one should I get? HAHA I don't want to get two because I don't think I can handle two....


	7. Stillness In Woe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you guys I would be back!  
> Anyway, life has been hectic with exams and assignments so I am really sorry for my absence. This is really short and angsty but I really hope you'll enjoy this.  
> I'll be off for internship next month so I probably won't be get much written for this series for awhile. I promise to write but updates will be periodical. I really hope you will all be patient with me!

The figure next to Minhyuk shifts abruptly and he is startled awake. His partner sleeps like a rock so when the movement is coupled with a sharp intake of breath and a choked sob, Minhyuk knows that something is wrong with the warm sleeping form next to him.

 

“Eunkwangie...are you okay?”, Minhyuk whispers, his hand rubbing reassuring circles on his arm.

 

Eunkwang doesn’t respond, instead, he lets out a whimper as stray tears leak from tightly shut eyes.

 

“Eunkwang, wake up. Shhhh...shhh. It’s just a dream, sweetheart”

 

Minhyuk has dealt with Eunkwang’s nightmares too many times so he knows the tell tale signs of his lover’s nightmare induced sleep. 

 

Suddenly, Eunkwang jerks awake and black dilated eyes are met with Minhyuk’s warm and comforting brown eyes. Minhyuk starts a gentle caress of calloused fingers against Eunkwang’s cold and damp cheek when the dam breaks and Eunkwang scrambles into Minhyuk’s arms.

 

“P-please don’t l-leave me.”, Eunkwang manages to choke out.

 

Minhyuk’s eyes widen at his words. He wonders what he could have been dreaming about to cause him to say such words. 

 

Perhaps he was insecure about their relationship. 

Perhaps he was stressed out by their recent success.

Perhaps Minhyuk did something wrong.

 

Minhyuk had so many questions but he glanced down at his boyfriend whose face is tear streaked and splotched with pink hues. Eunkwang has never looked so small and vulnerable now. Eunkwang’s hand tighten against Minhyuk’s shirt and he nuzzles closer as Minhyuk places a kiss on Eunkwang’s forehead.

He’ll ask him tomorrow. 

For now, he lets him drift away to hopefully a dreamless sleep. 

 

_ “I’ll never leave you.” _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Until next time!!


	8. The Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a short one that I wrote in 5 minutes. It’s not much but I hope you’ll like it anyways!

There is something about you.  
The way your eyes crinkle at the sides when you smile.  
The way you puff up your cheeks when you’re deep in thought.  
The way your left leg shakes when you’re nervous.  
The way your eyes twinkle when you hear me sing your favorite song.  
The way you pull me closer when I’m next to you.  
The way you say ‘Minhyukkie, more’ when we’re making love.  
The way your hands slip perfectly into mine.  
The way your beautiful eyes widen when I ask you to marry me.  
There’s something about you, the way you said ‘Yes,’ with no hesitation that made me realize that I want a forever with you.  
There’s something about you, that makes me love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Tell me what you think! Not sure when I’ll be back with a longer fic but until then! See you~


	9. Certain Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fic that references my previous fic which was in Minhyuk’s POV. So if you haven’t read the previous fic in Minhyuk’s POV then please do!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to melusinezar!!! When I read your comment I immediately started writing this! Thanks for your continuous support!! ily!!  
> Also, head down to the end notes for some info!!

There’s certain things that I adore.

I adore the way the sun feels on my cheek.  
I adore having a warm cup of coffee on a snowy day.  
I adore the adrenaline rush when I’m singing.  
I adore the feel of the loud bass coursing through hard wood floors in the music studio.  
I adore the song you’re singing.  
I adore your voice when you sing.  
I adore the way your warm hands never lets go of my own.  
I adore the way you got down on one knee with what used to be your mother’s engagement ring at the music studio where we first met and asked me to marry you.  
I adore the way your face lit up brighter than a million stars when I said ‘Yes,’ .

There’s certain things that I adore.  
But i’m certain that I am yours.

I adore _us_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I won’t be active as much on AO3 and I’m sort of lazy to make a new twitter account so if you want you can talk to me about BTOB or any fanfic stuffs at my twitter account @Piratetiltheend !!! I haven’t posted much about btob but trust me when I say I love them dearly! If you wanna know why I haven’t posted about my kids feel free to tweet me!!! Okay until next time!! See ya’


	10. Flakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic was written to the song ‘Flakes’ by Mystery Jets that was covered by Florence+ The Machine.  
> It’s a good companion song to listen to while reading it!

**_‘Cause when you're in pieces, you pick up the bits, and nothing fits, and the wind blows you away_ **

 

 

There is always two sides to a coin. A sort of balance - and he should have expected it.

Eunkwang is so dazzling, in every sense of the word. His wisdom makes him glow, and his smile is so bright, and when he’s joyful, it radiates around him. However, if there are the highest of highs, then there is also the lowest of lows. When you are so fully yourself, you throw yourself completely into the world and you come out a little bit more damaged.

Minhyuk doesn’t see it at first, and it broke his heart that maybe Eunkwang had tried to hide it because he knows that Minhyuk knows. He’s felt it before. The nothingness, the anxiety, the fear of watching everything fall through his fingers in flakes. The conviction that something is so wrong with him, but not even in an interesting way.

They were on the dorm’s shared couch, Minhyuk notices that Eunkwang’s eyes were a bit duller than usual, his smile slower. He took note of the defeat in his slouch, the gaze that stopped in the middle of a distance, not quite reaching the TV.

Perhaps a month ago, Minhyuk might have missed it, but when someone is in your bed, your mind, your heart and your life so often and so completely, you start to notice.

And even though he’s felt this before, it is somehow even worse when he knows his light, his angel is feeling it. Even if Eunkwang knows rationally about the love that’s always surrounding him, he won’t feel it now. But he will later, so Minhyuk gathers him in his arms, praying to God that this is the right thing to do now. Kisses his temple once, then his lips. He doesn’t shush him or ask for an explanation or reason when he feels fresh hot tears dampening his new sweater.

  
He knows he just has to let it pass. So he’s holding him to his chest, and stroking his hair ever so lightly, and murmuring to him that he loves him. Just repeating it ceaselessly.

_I’m happy you're here, I’m happy you’re here, I’m happy you’re here._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is kinda personal for me. Comforting someone is obviously about them, but our own experiences affect how we empathize and comfort and love.  
> I hope that if you're reading this and you're feeling low, remember that feelings aren't rational. It's okay to be sad without a real reason.  
> Hang in there, babes!  
> Also, i'm sorry for making Eunkwang sad so many times.....   
> I'll try to write fluffier fics in the future but in the meanwhile, you can yell at me in the comments :')


	11. Oceans Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!  
> THERE IS SLIGHTLY SMUTTY/NSFW CONTENT AHEAD!  
> Ah, yes. I've ventured into smut. Haha. It's vague descriptions but it's still there!  
> Hope you guys enjoy this one.  
> Anyway, I am really sorry for the irregular updates, I've been so busy with my intern so do expect slower updates...

74 days, 4 hours, 7 minutes and 23 seconds.

That’s how long it will be until he comes home. 

That’s how long it will be until he comes home to him.

It’s quite unfair, honestly, Minhyuk muses. Things were paused before they even had a chance to begin. Years of lingering touches, longing looks, unfettered flirting. He always wonders how long they could’ve had one another if they had just stopped circling each other like sharks.

Reality came crashing down one snowy day at the dorm when Eunkwang had nervously cleared his throat and said that he has an important announcement to make. Minhyuk smirked, thinking it wasn’t a big deal, but something their dramatic leader had conjured up to be. In return, it would probably lead to some playful teasing and light flirting afterwards.

Eunkwang announced that he had been offered a year-long opportunity to perform in Korea’s biggest theatre troupes but that would mean that he would have to go on a world tour away from BTOB and away from Korea and away for Minhyuk. For a full year.

Time stopped abruptly.

The other members knew how much Eunkwang had wanted this opportunity and now that he had it, they were all so happy for him. All the members moved in to embrace him. Everyone except Minhyuk who was frozen in shock and trying his best not to burst into tears.

“Congrats, Eunkwang-ah.” He had to put on his best face, but his smile felt forced, his throat pulsing from holding in a sob that wanted to escape so desperately. “Um, I h-have to go out for awhile. Um. Fresh air.”

He ran out of the door, he didn’t even put on a coat despite the chilly weather. He could feel 6 sets of eyes on his back but only one of them mattered right now.

Only one of them was breaking his heart.

After running for what seems like hours, he stopped at an alley, checking if he was alone before he sank down to his knees.

And he sobbed.

Minhyuk hates crying but his chest heaved and tears blurred his vision, leaving hot streaks down his cheeks, his hands shaking from the cold. He couldn’t catch his breath. 

Warm, gloved hands grasped his own cold ones and three words met his ears.

“Don’t cry Minhyuk-ah…”

Bleary eyes found warm chocolate ones, and before he knew it, he was captured in an warm embrace.

Before he knew it, his lips were covered by another’s.

It wasn’t romantic, their first time being on the Eunkwang’s bed in the their shared dorm when they were lucky because the other members had left for a movie. 

But they had to have each other, especially now when their time was short.

_ Make the most of every hour. _

Minhyuk’s hands down Eunkwang’s boxers, slow, deliberate strokes making him cry out his name in a way he had never said anyone else’s ever before.

_ Make the most of every minute. _

His length feeling like they were swimming in a velvet heat, half lidded-eyes looking up at Minhyuk in wonder as Eunkwang shook and moaned, a symphony to his ears.

_ Make the most of every second. _

Holding Eunkwang close, their bodies blanketed in a sheen of sweat and god knows what else as the sun’s first light peeks through the window, their love-making causing time to slow down and stop, until they had realized they were mapping out the constellations on each other’s bodies, learning what makes the other tick or shake in pleasure.

The three weeks before Eunkwang had to leave felt like three seconds, with Eunkwang preparing for the move amidst the usual busy schedules and press conferences before BTOB would be only 6 for a year without Eunkwang. It was much more difficult than they had ever imagined, no one realizing what a big role Eunkwang had played in their team until he would actually leave for a period of time. They were going to miss him.

However, now, whatever second or minute that they had between their busy schedules, it would be consumed by Minhyuk. Their lips battling for dominance, their skin sliding against skin causing the most delicious friction, their eyes bleary as they held each other, breaths laboured.

“I love you,” Minhyuk had muttered the night before Eunkwang’s departure as Minhyuk’s hands were in Eunkwang’s hair, his knees between his thighs. The rapper was on top of him, in Eunkwang’s bed, the last fleeting moments of a coupling that could have started a few months and weeks before. A coupling that meant more to Minhyuk than his own life.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Minhyuk.”

The departure was almost anti-climatic, the crying and fretting having done in the cab ride to the airport. Minhyuk handed Eunkwang his carry-on near the checkpoint and then, they paused.

How long?

How long until I can see this beautiful face in person again?

Eunkwang brings Minhyuk to the back of a pillar, checking that no one sees them before he pulls Minhyuk close, kissing him with a controlled passion.

How long until I feel the warmest lips I’ve ever felt once more?

Minhyuk winks at Eunkwang as he went through the security line.

He cries in the airport toilet.

They texted incessantly, Minhyuk was thankful for the unlimited text option on his calling plan, even though he probably texted Eunkwang more in one day now than he had in the total of the last few years combined.

They skyped, as well. Sometimes it would just be a simple chat, talking about their days, Minhyuk telling him about the movies he had watched, Eunkwang making silly faces to make Minhyuk laugh. Other times, it would evolve into something more.

Minhyuk never thought that seeing someone’s face would get him off. But as he told Eunkwang what he wanted to do to him, how much he had missed the feeling of him, the look of pure lust and longing on the other man’s face as he took care of himself off camera was intoxicating.

Minhyuk never thought being farther apart from someone would make him love him more.

But it did.

His texts were the first things he would wake up to every morning, and a corresponding declaration of sugary-sweet love the last thing he he would do before succumbing to slumber. 

Alone. But not for long.

They had so many plans for when Eunkwang would come back. They would move out of the dorms and move in together. A small apartment would be sufficient. Eunkwang would cook, Minhyuk could fix things around the apartment. They’d play video games together, do laundry together, compose together, stay up late watching the worst movies they could rent.

One day, perhaps they would get a dog. And maybe a hamster. Minhyuk was angling for a snake as well, but Eunkwang nervously gulped and responded, “W-we’ll see…?”

When they would retire from the industry, they wanted to travel the world together. See things they never thought they’d have the opportunity to lay their eyes on. Eat the best exotic foods. And retire to a four-star hotel and slowly undress each other, make love until the sun came up or the other guests complained. Whichever would come first.

But for now, they had to wait.

Minhyuk is an impatient man. He hated waiting. He never slowed down. Everything was a rush to him. A burst of adrenaline that could barely be controlled.

But now, he had no choice.

He knew that on the other side of the world, was everything that he could ever dream of and more. 

Everything he never thought he was even worthy enough to have.

So he would wait.

74 days, 4 hours, 7 minutes and 23 seconds.

Minhyuk would finally be whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the fic!  
> Tell me what you think in the comments and give ma a kudos if you liked it!  
> Until next time~


	12. Too Much (Is Never Enough)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaannnddd I’m back! Hello everybody! WARNING!!!! This is kinda smutty...it’s vague, once again but yea. There’s still mentions of love making HAHA!  
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Not sure when I’ll be back but I hope you guys will be patient with me!

This place has become as familiar to him as his own apartment. He knows the curve of the hallway and the flicker of the kitchen light that he ought to be fixed and the cool marble floors that make him shiver in the night. He knows the ways the doorknob sticks and the floorboard beside the bed creaks, the way the air conditioner hums loudly when turned on, the white noise that goes against their noisy neighbours.

The clutter has become an eccentric decoration, his books are in random stacks scattered around the apartment, half finished music scores thrown across the living room table, his soccer shoes haphazardly chucked in corners. Walls are painted with random scratches, kitchen ceiling with scorch marks.

He could navigate through the apartment blindfolded.

And it’s not even his.

Eunkwang’s apartment is a controlled mess, a physical manifestation of his personality, and Minhyuk relishes every second he’s in it.

-

  
Sometimes, Minhyuk has  
nightmares.

He wakes up to darkness, it is an invading force that presses down on his chest, intertwining painful thorns around his throat. He is but only a speck in this universe, he’s drowning in the vast space that’s above him, so he trembles and he shakes, his body an earthquake of emotions.

He is a beacon of light.

Eunkwang curls around him, skin warming skin, body against body, holding him tight. He croons sweet nothings into his ear like a lullaby. He breaths ‘I love you’s into Minhyuk’s skin, calming him in the waves of panic.

Minhyuk let’s him pull him up from the darkness, because if Minhyuk is only a speck then Eunkwang is the sun, shining down brightly and brilliantly and beautifully.

-

 

He maps Eunkwang’s body with his hands.

Eunkwang is sharp angles and straight lines that give way to gentle and soft curves that are wrapped in layers of smooth muscles, all contrasts, but beautiful ones.

His body is a map of scars.

Burn marks on his small hands from his clumsy antics in the kitchen, healing blisters from running too far, too fast, scrapes and bruises from dancing too hard, and Minhyuk kisses every one. Lets Eunkwang guide him downwards, across the slope of his stomach and the curve of his hips and the trembling of his thighs.

He chases the heat that dances across skin and muscle and bones, and when Eunkwang’s fingers curl against Minhyuk’s hair, when Eunkwang gasps, soft and breathy and wanting, Minhyuk feel fireworks explode in his chest, lighting his body on fire.

-  
He's beautiful.

He breaths Minhyuk’s name like a prayer and clutches to the sheets with white-knuckled fingers and he breathes so sharply that Minhyuk can feel it in his own body.

He’s bright and brilliant and beautiful.

He’s Eunkwang and Eunkwang is his.

 _Please, don’t stop_.

-

  
Eunkwang pulls him up, and Minhyuk lets himself get lost in the warm embers that are aflame in his eyes. They are chest to chest, cheek to cheek and Minhyuk can feel his heart.

Thud. Thud. Thud.

  
Beneath his palm, he can feel Eunkwang’s heartbeat. It’s fast and strong. He gasps in Minhyuk’s ear, soft and breathy and Minhyuk feels heat growing low in his gut. It’s liquid and flowing, a fire that Eunkwang lights within him.

There are fingers on his chest, grazing down his stomach, and the lips beneath his taste of coffee and longing.

Black hair and brown eyes and deep dimples and a smile that’s as bright as the stars, as beautiful as the moon, lighting up the room.

  
He breathes all of his need against Eunkwang’s lips, hips against hips. They are skin to skin, stripped bare in more ways than one. Eunkwang’s fingers resting just inches away from where Minhyuk wants them. It’s an easy sort of agony.

It’s a building ache.

 _Please_.

-

  
Sometimes, they’re rough with each other.

Sometimes they use teeth and claws, painting each other’s bodies with myriads of colours like black and blue and purple and red. There are marks that linger even after the night fades away and the sun greets their bleary eyes. They wear these marks proudly, these marks are badges of love and belonging.

Mostly, they are gentle.

Hands trace circles on ribs and hipbones, fingers entwined. They let the heat and desire build and grow, slowly but surely, they urge it upwards like a fire flicking towards the sky. There’s no rush, as these moments are their own. They are the only ones that matter.

Either way, love sings and harmonizes in every moment made, because Eunkwang is his and Minhyuk is Eunkwang’s. They whisper consent and love in the night, because even when they are rough, they are just as tender.

-

  
He lets himself get lost in Eunkwang’s touch. He closes his eyes and arches his hips and neck, gasping for more, and Eunkwang is whispering words softly into his ear, bringing a warm flush to his cheeks.

  
There are hands curling at the back of Eunkwang’s head, almost sobbing with need.

He drinks in Eunkwang. Eunkwang under him, arching into every thrust.

They are puzzle pieces fitting together, two halves of a whole, cloaked in a darkness like a blanket, there’s no one else here and Eunkwang lets Minhyuk watch him fall apart under his ministrations.

He clenches, twists, trembles.

He shakes himself to pieces.

-

  
Eunkwang traces Minhyuk’s scars with his fingertips, mapping his past.

Bumps from childhood bike crashes and sidewalk falls, raised scar marks from surgeries due to his gymnastic past, thin lines on his thighs, light and faded, speaking of hopelessness and suffocating darkness.

Eunkwang understands, kisses his scars like they are precious things.

He kisses away the pain.

-

  
Sometimes, he worries.

He worries that when one day he will wake up and Eunkwang would be gone. He worries that Eunkwang would grow tired of him.

He whispers in the night, letting secrets and insecurities fall off his tongue like the music they make, and Eunkwang holds him tighter.

  
They are bound, tethered by their beating hearts, caged beings that reach and grasp for each other in darkness, held back by their beings that ache and bend beneath the strain. Palms are on chests, feeling the thud, thud, thud, their hearts beating in rhythm.

They are musicians and their love is like music.

Their hearts are beating to the rhythm of Minhyuk, of Eunkwang, of each other.

 _I’ll never leave you_.

-

  
He is beautiful. He is breathless gasps and begging moans.

He is beautiful. He is clutching hands and the arch of a back, scrambling to get some sort of grip against the heat.

He is beautiful. He is longing and desire and wanting and he looks at Minhyuk like Minhyuk is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen

-

They are two bodies curled under the sheets, unable to stop touching. Hands that map each other’s curves and edges, unable to believe that this is real and that it’s not some cruel but exquisite and beautiful dream.

They learn about each other's bodies every night, they learn about love, and how it glows so bright and magnificent between them, it becomes almost a tangible thing that has shining threads as strong as metal connecting and binding them.

They are specks in the universe, but they have found each other and now that they have, they hold tight, whispering words of love like lullabies in the night.

 _You’ll always have me_.

-

  
He knows Eunkwang’s body as well as he knows his own. He knows the way to make him moan and gasp and keen. He know the curve of his smirk and the scrunch of his eyes and the way his chest colours prettily when he kisses him there and touches him here.

Eunkwang knows Minhyuk’s body just as well, and they touch and taste and learn in the comforting darkness of his apartment, and afterwards, their aftercare mirrors their love making, its soft and tender, the fireflies and animals in their hearts slowing down but still unwilling and unwanting to ever let go.

Their names are whispered like it’s a secret, falling from their mouths like poetry, warm and tender and familiar. Like they have waited their entire lives to find each other and now that they have, they can never be apart anymore.

_Never let me go._

-


End file.
